How to break-up
Try #1.
Hey baby. I uh, I'm sorry to say, but I uh, I uh, I... I don't... I don't think we should like... date anymore. Especially since I fucked your best friend... So uh, yeah, bye.
FAIL.
Try #2.
Take her to dinner.
Haha, yeah. So are you enjoying yourself? Good, good. Well, I just want you to know that I'm leaving you. Oh, don't look at me like that. You knew it was coming. Ever since you started talking to that... that cock. That pompous dick. I've felt that you... you sort of liked him. And you know, I can't have my girlfriend liking some other dude, ya' know? And then you started spending more and more time with him. So guess what? I decided to have my own little fuck-buddy. Your best friend. So, I'd like you to know, I'm leaving. Have a happy forever, bitch.
Give her the bill and leave.
FAIL.
Try #3.
I love you but I have to go. My family's moving to Africa. (Lie). I wish we could, but that long-distance... I don't think so baby.
FAIL.
Try#4.
Kill her.
FAIL.
Try#5.
Pull a houdini.
FAIL.
Try #6.
Okay... listen. I'm sorry, but I feel like we've sort of... drifted away, ya' know? I mean, we have two choices. Try to make this thing work or... end it here... What do you think we should do? Mm, okay. I agree. But can we still be friends? Good. Kiss her goodbye. BTW BITCH I FUCKED YOUR BEST FRIEND. Bye!
SUCCESS!
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2 comments:
i tink it wus gud but yuh stay cursiin so mayb yuh could curse less.. yea but otha dhen dat it wus mega gud.. rite tingsz lik dis mor.. yea.. gud job starsz fur yuh lol jk
thnx fur makin fun of duh way i b ritiin datsz y iima not c0mment on yuh page no mor cusz yuh dont lik duh way i b typiin iight
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